CatMean (catmean) wrote,


I used to think I was fearless. I would skydive, jump off cliffs, try strange foods, wear ethnic clothing out, anything anyone asked or dared me to do. It's only in recent years that I've noticed just how afraid I am, really. Fear has kept me from exploring career opportunities, trying new software, expanding my henna business, etc.. To make matters worse, it's starting to depress me. I don't know when or how this started.

I think it's a fear of rejection, or failure, and I'm not quite sure how to overcome it. I've got a small army of supporters who cheer me on constantly, but I haven't been able to overcome this paralysis. I'm trying to take baby steps and go back to basics: sketching, writing, experimenting. I've never been good with discipline, and I suppose it's time to work on that as well.

I need Madam Leota in my corner yelling at me:

Tags: af, musings
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